My vocal story

"Mother says I was a dancer before I could walk. She said I began to sing long before I could talk." The words from Abba:s song "Thank you for the music" could be about me. I've been singing performing on stage since before I can remember. The voice is one of the most fascinating things I know and I love working and playing with my voice, both in singing and talking.

I've trained with many different vocal coaches and I have been blessed with many amazing experiences as a singer. But since I'm an ambitious person and demand a lot from myself I easily suffer from stress. Through the years I've suffered from depression and burn out, with pregnancy and becoming a mother the muscles stretched and sleep depression became my new normal. With all of life's challenges I almost lost my voice. Instead of being kind to myself I became sad and angry at myself: why can't I sing? How can I be so bad? I can't do anything! And of course these reactions only made everything worse and I almost quit singing altogether. Like many others I compared myself to great singers than I look up to, and I compared my current voice to what it was when I was a teenager and felt I was "at the top". I didn't give my voice permission or space to be the voice it is with all the life experience that I have, I didn't allow it to be the unique voice it is.

That's why, for the past few years, I've worked on the way I look at and my relationship with my own voice. Overall I'm learning to be more merciful towards and demand less of myself and through that I'm also learning to look at and show my voice more love, care and respect. The kinder I am toward myself and my voice, the more it again improves and my self-esteem grows. My voice feels good when I feel good. I want to take care of all of me – my body, mind, soul, spirit – because everything is connected and affects my voice. Today I want to work with my voice from a holistic perspective and not only with technique. When I train there are good days and bad days. When it's a bad day, instead of becoming angry and accusing, I stop and ask myself: how do I feel? How does my body feel? What causes the feeling? What do I and my voice need right now?

My voice isn't what it was when I was a teenager – and that's good! It's ok if you hear from my voice that I'm a mother of three and have gone through both depression and burnout. It's ok if you hear from my voice that I lost a brother to suicide. It's ok if you hear from my voice that I've struggled and it's ok if you hear that I've won. It's ok that you hear from my voice that I've gathered a lot of knowledge and wisdom, but also that there still is so much to learn. My voice is unique and it is allowed to be heard exactly as it is.

Your voice is unique and is allowed to be hear too. I want to help you take care of it and strengthen both your voice and your relationship with it. I want to hear your voice!